Thursday, April 29, 2010

Thinking About Taking Over The World? Then This Blog Post is for you!!

Here is a Step-by-Step Processes on how to take over the world. it is also the Program I am currently using and it seems to be working just fine. But I am kinda stuck on step 4, Not sure which one I should get, any advice in that matter would be much appreciated...

Step 1: Evil
You must be at least 86.4% Evil for you to even stand a chance at taking over 1 Continent, But to take over the whole world you need to be at a minimum of 98.9% Evil. NO EXCEPTIONS!

Step 2: Money, and lots of it!

Chances are if you have a passing grade on step 1 then you should already be good to go on step 2, Since Money is the Root of all evil. But if for some reason you don't have lots of money here are some Sub-Steps you can do:
A. Kill a Rich Uncle
B. Get a Job
C. Rob a Bank
D. All of the Above

Step 3: Fear
  • Option 1.
You will Need some kind of massive weapon(s) that can destroy large areas of land at a time, like whole city's and such. Or you could go for the alternative, which is a bio-weapon of some sort that will kill people or at least turn them into Zombies. the effect of these weapons will make people fear you, and when people fear you they also listen to you and when they Listen to you you have POWER!
  • Option 2.
Or you could always try and do it the "honest" way and try to win an election or something and become President and then unite the world.
Side Effect Of this Option Include, People thinking you are the Anti-Christ, Going soft, Or Death.

Step 4: Henchmen
Now when taking over the World you will Notice that you will be VERY busy and wont have much time to do Fun stuff anymore, like playing with your kids and wife, but not only will you have no time for fun stuff with the family but you will also have limited time to do your own dirty work. This is where Henchmen come in. You Will Need to buy Henchmen, I always use www.ineedsomehenchmen.com, I find it is a great site for buying Henchmen. Now when Shopping for henchmen you will need to keep an eye out for a few things. Size, Brains, Ninja, or Just plain Sketchy. Now I will go over the Pros and Cons of these different type of Henchmen
  • Size has, and still is a classic thing to look for when buying Henchmen. Pros: Great for helping Move stuff, beating people up, and Getting them Darn Cookies off the top shelf. Cons: Dumb
  • Brains are always nice to have. Pros: Can help with your Evil plan Cons: NOT Great for helping Move stuff, Not Good at beating people up, and Forget about Getting them Darn Cookies off the top shelf.
  • Ninja... Pros: YOU HAVE A NINJA ON YOUR SIDE! Cons: N/A
  • Just plain Sketchy... Pros: Cheap! Cons: Lots...

Step 5: Plan & Purchase
Now you need to make a plan, buy your weapons and buy your Henchmen... this step is easier said then done and will take time. Unless you already know what you are going to do! In that case what are you waiting for go to Step 6!!

Step 6: Execute
Start putting your plan into action, get them weapons ready for attack. Also don't forget that you wont really be doing anything but just sitting there telling your henchmen what to do, that is why you bought them right? So just sit back and watch the magic Happen!

Step 7: Rule
Congratulations! You are now the ruler of the world. But don't get to excited, now that you own everything I'm sure there will be an uprising soon, so keep an eye out for them rebels, and when ever they try to beat you down... Just remember WWDVD, What Would Darth Vader do? So go ahead and blow up there Country and Have FUN!

Until Next time!

Nolan Out!



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