Saturday, May 8, 2010

Welcome to... THE WEEKEND!

It's time for everybodies favorite game show... That's right, welcome all to: The Weekend!

Today on The Weekend, we have contestant Mike Daoust. He is a rather lifeless sort, and the impressive skills he brings to the table should serve him well with today's events! Lets go over to the prize curtain and see what he stands to win!

Behind today's curtain lies... Whats this? Extremely large quantities of boredom! But wait there's more! Along with your boredom, you can also win a reminder of your social ineptitude, a small case full of depression and a brand new jetpack!
Bob, over to you.

Thanks Jim, for the first challenge today our contestant will need to run...
The ring of responsibility!!!
The idea here is that our contestant must successfully surmount all of the obstacles on this course and be done with enough time left on the clock to finish all the rest of today's events. Bonus points will be awarded for style and creative use of firearms. So why don't we take a look at what Mike will be facing? Today's obstacles include: The barricade of pointless homework, Not one, but two servers that need to be reconfigured, a couple of promises-that-need-to-be-kept hurdles, and a giant squid. As always, a large hatchet is provided for getting past the squid.
Back to you Bob!

That's quite the course Jim. Now while our contestant is preparing for his trials, here's a quick word from our sponsors.




Were back, and our contestant is ready to get underway! Over to you Jim.
I think I'll be buying a windows after this Bob. But for now our contestant is starting!
He's off to a slow start! Look at him crawl out of that bed.... Reaching for the nightstand now... He's going for... Yes, the pistol!... Ohh! And he grabbed the Cellphone as well! The poor guy, he'll learn soon enough that a cellphone does you no good on The Weekend!
That's right Jim, here at the weekend, nobody will ever care enough to send him a message or, god-forbid, actually call him.
He's flying off to a quick start, going after the barricade of pointless homework... *gunshots*
Bob, that's yet another contestant who thinks that just by shooting homework, it can get done. Sadly this isint the case though is it?
No Jim, the bullet manages to pass right through the paper without answering any questions or really doing anything at all. It looks like he'll need to manually climb it using the pencils of knowledge.
And quite a climb this is! Look at him fly through it! Its almost as if he had done this very homework before!
Off to a running sprint now towards the hurdles of promises... *More gunshots*
There we go Bob! This contestant really knows how to handle a pistol! By shooting the people he made promises to, he can avoid the hurdles completely! What a brilliant move by Mr. Daoust!
But this isn't over yet Jim, he still has the Giant Squid and the servers to go.
Very right Bob. Those servers have given him a hard time before haven't they?
That's right, word is that he was supposed to have solved them weeks ago!
Well Bob, its a good thing he's paid by the hour.
And here he comes now! approaching the first server... Oh what terror! Its covered in bugs! Jim, nobody said anything about bugs in the server!
Just all part of the unpredictable nature of The Weekend, Bob. Mike will need to find a path over the server while either avoiding or exterminating the bugs. And he needs to remember: some of that pistol ammo needs to be saved for the Giant Squid and besides that he really shouldn't be shooting at the machine he's being paid to fix.
Quite the predicament Jim. But that's all the time we have today. Tune in tomorrow folks to discover whether or not our contestant will be going home with a Brand new Jetpack!
This is The Weekend, have a good night all!

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