Thursday, June 3, 2010

Mike Daoust: An Autobiography

My earliest memories are of my childhood... Ahhh, I remember that. I remember back to the mothership where I... But wait, I get ahead of myself. I was actually born to different parents then the family I now live with! My mother was a holdout practitioner of Ninjitsu who lived deep in the Burmese jungles, still fighting WWII (The news of the war's end never made it to her). My Father was actually William Wallace himself, who time traveled here after a alternate timeline incident. Now, curiously, I have a third parent! a really ingenious grey skinned alien who had abducted my mother and father and forced them to have me... Man I loved that Alien...

Anyway, I was raised by a computer program, which I soon learned to control. Thus granting me immense power in technical ability! Unfortunately, the other aliens did a whole whack of genetic testing which caused me to become an idiot, something I still struggle with.

One day my mom escaped, and then my dad found a way back to his timeline... And the Alien died, because they have really short lifespans. So the mothership got boarded by the adoption agency space marines, and I was brought back to the loving family who now care for me!

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