Thursday, July 28, 2016

The Problem With Nolan

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Recently I've been noticing a downward trend in the world. Nothing super specific, it just seems that more and more bad things seem to be happening. The world is drifting farther and farther away from God's law. Valuing things that are wrong. This sort of thing.

I have been seeing people I used to know, some of them very good friends, that have been drifting away from God. When I was younger these people used to seem like they had it all together, I was even envious of their spiritual life. But from observing their lives now, clearly, they did not have it all together, they gave up, or missed something important.

Now I know that sounds really harsh, and maybe it is. Just a little. But want to know the the worst part of this story? I sometimes look at these people and feel like I am better then them. I mean, I go to church most Sundays, I help run the sound booth, I do other things at the church.

But the truth is that I'm no better. If anything, I am worse off then these friends of mine. I wear a mask. I play a role in the musical called Church. I know my lines. I know them well. 

But when I am not at church I have hidden sins that I indulge. The ones no one sees. The ones that are best kept secret and are easy to keep, at least from most. My sins are worse, at least in my mind. I see mine as less "bad" just because mine just aren't out in the public eye.

From the outside, people think I'm doing well. I'm not. My life is a Christian roller coaster.(See previous post.) It definitely has its ups, and let me be clear, the ups are wonderful and hard work. But I get really low some times. Sure I know how to smile and keep things nice on the outside. But inside I am somewhat of a wreck.

Sorry for the depressed late night post. I really do plan on getting around to writing that post about being content. Eventually.

Here is some homework. Read Psalms 73

Nolan Out!

P.S. Just to lighten the mood: Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.